California Dreamin'

"When you face your fears, they aren't as big as you thought they were. What makes them big is when you don't turn around and face them head-on.  The longer you avoid your fears, the bigger they grow in your mind." -Steve Harvey

This weekend was all about facing my fear.  Although I'd made up in my mind about 15 months ago that CHOP CHOP Mobile Salon & Barber was something I wanted to bring to Chicago, the thought of actually living out this dream was causing some major anxiety.  No lie, my doctor bills have piled up in the last two months.  I've gotten neck and back X-rays, acupuncture, a sleep test and had a couple of panic attacks. Now that I know I'm not dying I'm just stressed, I can laugh about it LOL.

Luckily, a pure image of stress is hard to capture in a Facebook post, otherwise, my Facebook friends would've seen the "not so sexy" side of entrepreneurship a while ago.  I will say I have a damn good poker face, but on the flip side my body has been showing my hand, exposing all my cards - I'm straight up terrified of failure!

With that being said, my resilience will not allow a panic attack to be the thing that stops my progress, so I say - let's get it crackin'!  This weekend was about facing my fears head-on.  On paper my business concept looked great but will it actually work, can I actually pull this off? 

Now chances are you'll find someone somewhere with the same business idea as you. In my quest to start the mobile salon of course the first thing I did was Googled "mobile salon" to see if the concept already existed. There were a few here and there, but only one that embodied the quality and presence I wanted for my own business.  Although the inspiration behind it was slightly different the overall concept was similar and you'll find that's just life. Very few entrepreneurs really create something brand new and quite frankly if you do happen to stumble across a completely new concept I wish you much luck because the journey is even harder when you don't have a baseline.  Anyway, I digress, that's a whole different post!

As I wrote my business plan and identified competitors I knew if I was going to do this I wanted to compete with the best but with this concept being so new I would need some help if I wanted to execute it flawlessly.  I remember drafting an email to the owner of STERLINGS Mobile Salon and Barber in San Diego, California.  I must have read it over about five times, debating if I should send it or not.  I was scared to death, thinking how could I email my potential competition and ask him for help! That's insane, right! But I did it anyway, I hit that send button and the rest was history.

Kush, the owner responded with such kindness and a genuine interest to help me get started. I couldn't believe it, and for the last 5 months we've been pen pals. This weekend I went to visit him and see his mobile salon first hand and it completely blew my mind.  Not only that I was actually there in the mobile salon but the fact that I got to eat dinner with such a stand up guy. Before meeting him I had read so much about his story and his plight to get his mobile salon and barbershop off the ground. So much so, that I made him to be a celebrity in my mind. This weekend trip dismissed so many fears I had.  Had I not faced them head on, I'd never know that these fears are the same ones Kush had, the same ones most entrepreneurs have before they launch their business.

Key takeaways:

1) Convince yourself that the possibilities that come from facing your fears are greater than you doing nothing. You don't want to go through life saying "What if?" Or "I have this great idea."

2) Reach out to people that are doing what you aspire to do! Pride will either get you killed or stunt your growth.  You can't be too arrogant to ask for help. What's the worst that could've happened, my email would've gone unanswered LOL, so what?!?! Instead, look what happened, the owner of the best mobile salon in the country decided to help me achieve my dream!

3) Believe in people. This crazy world we live in will sometimes make us think that everyone is out to hurt us or get over on us. Sometimes you have to trust in people and trust in the process. For me trust is much easier because of my faith in God. You have to trust that if you put forth the effort and leave it in God's hands, blessings will come.

From Drab to Fab! Just like that!

One thing that is very unique to black women is we always have to have a hair plan!  

• Going to the islands with sand, dirt and large bodies of water?  Oh okay, let me put these box braids in real quick!

• Celebrating a big birthday, wedding or graduation ceremony?  Oh okay, let me do this sew-in real quick!

• Going to a festival, concert or day party?  Oh let me do this bantu knot out real quick

LOL. Yasss!  This is my life and I'm sure a whole lot of other black women are nodding in agreement right now.  People of other races are always asking me at work why I change my hair up so much and I just think to myself, "Because I have a life!"  I kid you not, the other day a lady asked me (jokingly, well at least I think she was joking) "Are you in a witness protection program?"  Oh no she didn't! Like, I cannot make this stuff up if I wanted to!

If only they knew changing my hair up based on where I'm going is totally a part of our survival strategy in this world.  I'm like the Stone Fish, The Ghost Mantis, The Chameleon - I live to adapt. Well, I live to ensure my hair adapts to wherever I visit or what event I attend.

Now, for the very rare occasions when I'm just too lazy to lift a finger to this head of thick, kinky hair, I opt for a quick fix.  With a custom crochet wig I can go from drab to fab with the snap of my fingers.  Ladies, I suggest always keeping one around because you never know when you'll need something quick to throw on...and yes, I'm still talking about hair, LOL.

In the meantime, while I continue to work on launching my mobile salon I'm going to start making wigs and selling them on my website www.chopchopmobile.com.  Stay tuned to see what styles will be available first!  In the meantime, if you're brave enough (hehehe) watch my Youtube tutorial below and learn how to make your own crochet wig today !

Mix Your Passion With Purpose and Find Your Next Great Biz Idea!

So my dad is super old school. He doesn't understand why I share so much on social media. We have pretty heated debates but all those conversations do is push me to share more lol. I never set out on this entrepreneurial journey to make money. I don't share my successes to get attention, nor do I share my stress to gain sympathy. I share my business because I hope that it shows people that we all have to start somewhere, usually at the bottom, with very little resources but with an idea. In my journey, whether I successfully get this mobile salon up and running or valiant attempts go unrewarded, I hope that people will see that it's not easy, it f*cking scary, it's time consuming, it's stressful and anxiety is inevitable. But at the end of each day, I feel full. I feel like I have purpose and I feel like I can't wait to be on the cover of Forbes smiling next to a trailer with my arms crossed with a big ass smile under the title "From Entry-Level to CEO."

In the black community we don't do a great job with sharing how we accomplished certain things. I really wish I had a mentor (outside of my parents) that shared with me mistakes they made so I could avoid them. Or, things they did and resources they used that could make my journey a bit easier. So my intention to share is simply to do just that. I'm happy to tell people where I went to network and find my partners. I'm happy to tell you how to write your business plan or create projections. I'm happy to advise you on a marketing strategy. I'm no guru and I know my business hasn't even launched yet, but what I do know is if more of us shared our knowledge we'd be much better off. So with that and with this long ass post, I've decided to do somewhat of a documentary to share the highs, the lows and what I learn along the way. The term success is relative...each step you take closer to realizing your vision is worth a badge of honor.

Follow your dreams...

Blended Method: Roller & Flexi Rod Set on Tapered Fro

As my tapered fro grows out I'm using a new method to set my hair.  Try using flexirods in the front and cold wave rod rollers on the side and back.  Take a peak, leave comments and be sure to subscribe to see my new hair videos as they post!

What do I wear? Professional vs. Business Casual Attire

There is a difference!

Have you ever been stumped trying to figure out what to wear when an invitation or event notice states: Professional attire Or Business casual? 

Well, deciding what to wear is much simpler than you may think. There are a few easy rules to live by to ensure you're always dressed appropriately, no matter what the occasion.

Rule #1: If you're unsure about what to wear, error on the side of caution - over dress rather than under dress. No one will give you the side eye if you come to an event wearing a tie and suit jacket. The great thing about over dressing is you can usually remove pieces to dress your outfit down. However, fellas if you leave the house without a sport coat and ladies without a pair of heels you're S.O.L ($h!t out of luck for those that don't know the acronym). 

Rule #2: If you have an interview ladies wear a suit, it doesn't matter if it's a pant suit or skirt suit just wear one.  Men, you should always wear a tie with your suit. For interviews, you want to look sharp and dress to impress! This requires you to be in business professional dress, so don't leave anything up to chance when you walk in for a job.  Make the interviewer focus on you and your skill set, the last thing you want them judging are your clothes. Whether you're interviewing internally or externally, you have to show the interviewer you care enough about the job to dress like you want it!

Rule #3: Neither option includes gym shoes or flip flops! No, for business casual you don't necessarily have to go for the wing tip shoes or pointy toe pumps, but you should never enter a business casual event with gym shoes, sandals, crocs, timbs, etc.  Remember business casual still has the word "business" in it.  This means you can forego the tie and jacket and wear a collar shirt or button down but there needs to be a collar.  For guys, as long as the shoes look more like dress shoes than gym shoes you should be alright, however, don't attempt to express your bold fashion sense at a business casual event.  Leave that for the club, date or day party.  

Women this is a great opportunity to wear a really nice dress with or without sleeves, pencil skirts or pants with a nice printed blouse, collar shirt or sweater.  Ladies, leggins with long shirts and boots should not be considered business casual.  Nor are short skirts, dresses or lets just say club-like attire.  Keep in mind business casual is just one step down from business professional so you still want to keep it classy and elegant.  Open toe shoes in this case are okay as well as flats.  I have to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about flats in a business professional setting so I suggest just wearing a pair of heels to be safe, and throwing flats in the trunk of your car for after the event.  Here are a few of my examples: 

Left: Business Attire   Right: Business Casual

Business Casual

Let's see how you wear your business professional vs. business casual.  Post your pic on my iDigg FB Page!

#Patterns: One Style Does Fit All

When choosing a look I generally try to draw up some celebrity inspiration.  Anytime my look involves wearing patterns I always think "Solange".  Solange Knowles is known for her bold and daring style, with or without the fro! Her soulful looks range from 70's chic to what I call futuristic overdrive.

Although her looks can be over the top, Solange works whatever she has on, because she oozes
confidence and owns it, from her free flowing tight coils to the platform stacks on her feet.  I've heard
people say, "patterns aren't for me" - well, I disagree.  Patterns are what you make them and it totally makes sense to gradually introduce them into your wardrobe.  

First, start with the basics, try a patterned blouse or jacket paired with a solid skirt or pants.

On your next attempt go the distance and try a full printed dress.

Another option, if you'd rather keep it fashionably casual, opt for a one piece jumpsuit!

Now before the critics start talking, I know for a fact there's somebody out there saying, "prints are for skinny girls." I know somebody's thinking it because when I was 25 lbs heavier, I said it lol. After really doing some investigating I realized it's not the pattern that creates unflattering outfits, it's all about THE CUT. Patterns need structure otherwise you can appear to drown in them or they can be straight up overwhelming. It's also probably a good thing to keep everything else basic like jewelry, shoes and even your hairstyle and color.  It always goes back to understanding your body and accentuating your best features.  Here are some great examples of Kasey slaying patterns!  If you like these looks visit her page Kasey Curves Boutique.

 

Do you have The Will To Win?

Okay, so I'm going to be extremely candid with this post.  For those not familiar with the corporate jargon, candid basically means keeping it 100! Or 8 more than 92 wit it, one hunnid!

 (sorry, too much Drake! lol)

The further I get in the pursuit of owning my own business the more conversations I end up having with people that claim they also want to start their own business or find a new job or company to work for because their current situation isn't working out the way they had hoped.

I can totally dig that, because all of those reasons are in part what's motivated me to pursue my dream of opening a salon and barbershop.  However, what I can't dig, is 5 to 12 months later those same people are saying the exact same thing with no progress.

Now, I get it, we all complain. Real talk, I've started paying more attention to how much I complain and I'm starting to get on my own damn nerves.  There's nothing wrong with talking to people about your problems and the obstacles you face, that's natural. It does become a problem if you're constantly making excuses for yourself and not willing to put in the work to make a change.

In my opinion, to win in life, there are 4 Keys to Success!  This is applicable to success in life, period. Even if you don't want to own your own business, or you're happy with your job, these are keys that will take you far in life to achieve and acquire whatever it is you want out of life.

1.  FEARLESS

To achieve any type of success in your life you cannot embody the spirit of fear.  

• You cannot be afraid of what people will think of you. 
• You cannot be afraid to talk to people outside of your circle.  
• You cannot be afraid to share your vision.
• You cannot be afraid to hear the word, "no."
• You cannot be afraid to ask for help.

Venture Connects - Networking Event 

Let's face it, if you're a minority trying to go into business or find a job you need to talk to people outside of your immediate network.  It's natural that we tend to mingle with people that are like ourselves because it's comfortable and it's familiar.  The reality is, not many of our family or friends are CEO's or executives of companies.  A lot of us don't have colleagues that can invest thousands of dollars in our business ventures, as brilliant as the idea might be. Now, if you allow this to stop you then you're not really a boss! By that I mean that hashtag, #boss, that everybody wants to put on their Facebook and IG posts.  No, you're not a boss or a hustler! You're not grinding and you sure as hell ain't on "beast mode," because if you were you'd find a way to meet people that could help you.

Perfect example, my GoFundMe campaign has been up for 4 months.  To date, I've raised $2,565 from the donations of 35 family members and friends.  My goal is $50,000 so clearly I have a ways to go.  Now, I could give up and say there's no way I'm going to hit $50K at this rate, and truth be told most of my Facebook friends and family are not in the position to donate large sums of cash to me because they have their own financial situations they have to deal with. 

I spy Kesia King working the room in her red blazer! LOL.

So, it would be naive of me to depend on just this one resource, right? Of course!  I have to go sniff out the big money, the investors, the people that do this for a living.  So what does that mean?  That means doing all the things I said you can't be afraid to do. I've been to at least six different networking events, by myself, sharing my vision and telling people how much money I need to raise and why they should help me.  Not only am I typically one of very few females in the room, but I'm generally the only black woman in attendance.  Talk about out of your comfort zone!  But if you want something bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes! 

Please believe, God helps those that help themselves. At the last event in August, I met an investor interested in my business concept.  We've now met on two different occasions and we're getting closer and closer to finalizing a deal.

2.  PASSIONATE

Plain and simple, passion shows through your actions.  You can't just tell someone your passionate about something, they should be able to see your passion.  Some might look at my social media profiles and blog and say, "she thinks she's cute all those damn selfies." Hahaha! I know that's what some of y'all think!  But honest to God, I love showing off the different styles I create with my hair.  I didn't go to hair school so sometimes I amaze myself at some of the hairstyles I'm capable of pulling off.  One things for sure, no one will ever doubt my passion for hair and no one would ever wonder why I decided to own a business in the beauty industry, because I share my passion with people everyday.

3. AMBITIOUS

Everyone can dream and have dreams but not everyone has ambition. According to Dictionary.com, ambition is, "the desire and determination to achieve success."  What you have to ask yourself is, how far are you willing to go to achieve success?  Are you the type of person to hear "no" once, and then give up?  Are you the type of person to say, "well I don't have the money, so I can't do that"?  Have you ever said, "so and so doesn't think this is possible, so it really doesn't make sense for me to try?" If you've ever said these things, sorry, you're not going to achieve the success you've dreamed for because you're not truly ambitious (and if you let me tell you you're not going to achieve success then you completely just missed my point lol). Ambitious people find a way.  If you're ambitious you kick, scratch, crawl and pull your way to the top. If you're ambitious you create opportunities, you don't sit back waiting for opportunities to come to you.  

4. RELENTLESS

If you're not physically and mentally drained every night while in pursuit to make your dream a reality then you are not relentless in your attempt to reach success.

• "But Kesia, I have kids" 
• "But Kesia, I have family members to take care of" 
• "But Kesia, I work full-time"
• "But Kesia, I don't have a car"
• "But Kesia, I'm not as outgoing as you are"

"Yaddy, yaddy, yaddy" as Tyrone Bigsby, Dave Chapelle's crackhead character on "The Chappelle Show" would often say. We all have responsibilities, that's life.  It's those that carve-out time to focus on themselves and their dreams that will be successful. If you're not going to be persistent than don't even think about changing your situation because the only way that's going to happen is if you say to yourself, "Self, I will not stop until I make this happen!" If you can't say that, then learn to get comfortable in the position you're currently in, because you're going to be there for awhile.

Substantiate your hashtag #boss, by getting in tune with the four keys to success! Help yourself and our community by living your dream and being an example for generations to follow.  What will your legacy be? And will they say, you had the will to win?

The Mary Jane Syndrome

Being labeled a "strong black woman" used to be a badge of honor.  A "strong black woman" takes on every battle life throws her way, while smiling with all thirty-two teeth, wearing 6 inch heels, a brief case on her shoulder, a baby bottle in her right hand a spatula in her left while on the phone listening to someone else's problems, when deep down she knows that she's actually the one that needs to be laying on somebody's couch, airing it all out!

It's funny because a couple weeks ago when I threw this particular outfit on, I was dealing with some internal struggles myself.  Now, add in my homemade, bone straight wig, red shoes and matching red clutch, when I looked in the mirror I immediately felt like Mary Jane Paul, from Being Mary Jane!  I can relate to Mary Jane, because on the outside, she always looks like she has it together. If you've watched the show on BET, you know when she walks into a room her presence demands attention. She has the perfect physic and is always rocking fashion forward designer threads. Ontop of all that, she has the high profile, well paying job and lives in an extravagant home.  On paper and in front of the world she appears to have the perfect life.

What I love about the show is you see Mary Jane's insecurities, her faults, her desperation, her anger and her shame.  "Strong black women," mask so much pain just to prove to the world that nothing can defeat or weaken us. No matter how traumatic, tough or painful a situation is, I will not allow myself to miss a beat.  There are no "time-outs" for me.  I tell myself to keep smiling,  cry only when those around me are sleep, and lie to myself that I'm good, when I know damn well I'm not. The more I write the more I really think my appearance is my disguise. I need to look like I have it together, when Lord knows there are plenty days I really don't.

Don't get me wrong, God has blessed me in so many ways and I am grateful for all he has given. I'm talking about the day to day grind, the grit if you will, and how overwhelming it can all be.  Lately my biggest struggle has been the transition from one to two kids, while being a full-time employee, wife and aspiring entrepreneur.  Trying to make sure I give each aspect of my life the appropriate attention without feeling like I'm neglecting my children, husband, job and my own personal dreams of success.

There's really no simple way to say it, It's hard out here in these streets!

Tardiness. Any article you read about habits of successful people you'll see that they wake up early and they are always on time.  Unfortunately, I haven't mastered either one but I do not like to be late nor do I find it acceptable.  I absolutely hate the fact most mornings I'm huffing and puffing to get out the door and drop off both kids.  Even in the rare occasion I pack things up at night, my one year old loves to poop as soon as we're headed out the door.  As much as I'd like to tell myself that having two kids is a great excuse to be late for work, it really isn't.

Submission.  With my husband having a more senior role at work, he has more meetings he can't miss. He also has a team that reports to him so he is accountable for others beyond himself. This means when the kids are sick, mommy's leaving work to pick them up.  This one is a double whammy for me.  Yes, moms are generally the "nurse" to their children by nature, but I won't act like it's not a hit to my ego since I always pictured myself to be that independent, career focused women, but reality is, my kids have to come first.  One thing people don't tell you before having kids, is that you really do give up pieces of you.  There's no room for selfishness, when duty calls you must submit to your family.

Priorities.  Momma "D" was famous for understanding her priorities, she was quick to tell us "In that order!"  Me, not so much.  After God and family, I'm stuck.  I tend to try to give everything I work on the same amount of weight and this is so unrealistic and is a huge component of my stress.

Pressure.  In high school I was in everything:

• Minority Student achievement network
• Reading tutor for ESL students
• Captain of Varsity Basketball
• Editor of the opinion column
• Senior Class President
• Swimming
• Orchestra
• Track
• Quest

As I reflect back it makes total sense why I still have this natural urge to do a zillion things!  The pressure comes when it's not enough to just be apart of something,  I feel like I have to be the best.  I think I took on more and more hoping to break the chain of being good at all things but never THE BEST at one thing.  I wasn't the star player on the basketball team.  I could never get first chair in orchestra.  I wasn't the last leg on our 4X100 relay team.  I was always searching for my niche and to this day I believe I still feel the pressure to find that one thing Kesia King is the best at.

Karyn Washington

After hearing and reading about Karyn Washington (blogger/activist) and Titi Branch (co-owner of Ms. Jessie's natural hair care products) both of whom committed suicide, when they seem to have had everything going for them, it started to make sense.  So many of us are afraid to show weakness and we tend to take on this superwoman/superhuman complex.

After reading articles like, "The Truth Behind The Strong Black Woman Stereotype" and "4 Ways Strong Black Women Syndrome Keeps Us Poor' I am further convinced that this syndrome will start making more of us sick both mentally and physically, if we don't start talking about it openly and make the appropriate efforts to change.

Titi Branch

Once upon a time I would never imagine hearing or witnessing young black women committing suicide.  Yet as I've grown, I've been slapped in the face with challenges ranging from having a baby out of wedlock, facing unemployment at a time I needed money the most and worried about being able to make my next rent payment. I also experienced dealing with identity issues and having a child in the ICU for a month after delivery, the list goes on.  I'd be lying if I said I never contemplated the idea of giving up.

Life is so much more than stupid accomplishments. It's more than being wealthy and having a senior title.  It's more than passing an exam or closing on a deal. We can't go around thinking we can solve everyone's problem, pay everyone's bill, bail out all our hommies.  At some point we can't support every need a family member has, we have to let our kids grow up even if that means giving tough love and telling them it's time to move out of the house.  That partner that's living off of you, needs to go! If they're not making you better the truth is they're stifling your growth.

Everyone of us is wearing some sort of disguise.  Know when to take yours off!  Talk to another sister, to another brother, to your mom, dad, Godmom, husband, wife, child, pastor, counselor, whoever it may be in your life.  No one in this world is exempt from pain, no matter how good they look (laughing at myself).  Everyone has struggled with something.  As the saying goes, "No, is a complete sentence." Learn when to say no and when to move on, don't let the the Mary Jane Syndrome, kill you.

Love and blessings!

5 Signs You Got A Bad Weave

I will tell you this, hair extensions are not for the faint of heart. Ittakes time to become a connoisseur of weave and I'm still learning myself through a lot of trial and some error! The best thing about weave, clip-ins, wigs, braids, crochets and any other type of extensions is that it gives our hair a break from styling and also allows versatility.  However, with weave comes great responsibility, it is extremely important that when you decide to add hair you either go hard or go home!

What?!?! Yes, you betta bring it! Don't half ass a weave, it's either quality or nothing at all.  My definition of quality does not mean spending $100 or more on a bundle of hair, that ladies, is some good ole fashion marketing! A good weave is about two things: the hair and the install.  I'm going to share my top 5 lessons learned when purchasing hair and installing a weave.  Learn from my mistakes and avoid the embarrassment and shame of a bad weave.

Number 5: Shedding & Tangling

Despite what many think shedding really has to do with the way the hair is wefted.  According to blackhairmedia.com, high quality Remy Hair is mechanically machine wefted and sewn by industrial sewing machines while Virgin Hair is more commonly known to be wefted by human operated sewing machines.  As a result, it's said that Virgin Hair tends to shed a bit more but keep in mind shedding is normal.  Think about your hair, when you comb it doesn't it shed?

Now, if  you walk around your house and leave a trail of hair behind you, that my dear is a sign, you got a bad weave and should not repurchase that brand/type of hair.  There are things you can do to prevent additional shedding like purchasing double wefted hair or sealing your wefts with fabric glue.

Excessive tangling is a great indicator of a bad weave.  Good hair does not tangle at the nape of the neck.  Yes, you'll need to brush it out here and there to bring the hair back to life but by no means should strands be sticking together! That is unacceptable; girlfriend toss that hair and never look back!

Be sure to watch my videos on YouTube (Channel KesiaKing) for hair and product reviews.  Also search other Vloggers and get details on what brands to buy and their associated pros and cons.

Number 4: Multi-color install

Ombre is toally in, but having naturally dark hair and purchasing a color 4 (brown) is not.  This is another all or nothing moment.  If you choose to wear a leave-out and have your edges exposed make sure you find hair that matches your natural color.  This can be tricky if you're like me and have multiple highlights in your hair.  You have to make the decision to either dye your hair to match the color of the weave you're purchasing or go for a full sew-in and don't leave any hair out.

Your black hair on red weave are not highlights.  I'm not saying this for anyone to get defensive, I've been there, but some people won't tell you it looks bad because they're being nice. I'm keeping it all the way one hundred - remember go hard or go home ladies, do it right!  What I've recently began to do is purchase the same color bundles and closure, then going to the drug store to purchase color. This way, all the weave has the same base color and then when I go in to add highlights.

Number 3: Frequent mirror checks

One of the many perks of having a good weave is being able to just get up and go with minimal styling. You know you have a bad weave when you're constantly adjusting and readjusting your install.  Whether you're checking the mirror to ensure a track isn't showing or trying to dodge the blowing wind (lol, now that's funny).  Leave the overly thick, heavy weaves for the celebs it's not very conducive to everyday life, but be sure to have enough hair added that it covers possible flaws in your install.  I generally go with 2 1/2 to 3 bundles for a full sew-in.

2. Mismatched textures
It's important that we know and understand our hair before deciding to get extensions.  Research is required and there are several questions you should ask yourself before making a purchase.  I really think some women don't understand the level of thought that must be put into choosing hair and a stylist.  The most important things to consider are the following:

What activities will you engage in with this weave? This sounds really funny as I'm typing but it's the truth. Do you workout frequently?  Are you going on vacation and plan to swim?
If you're natural you know that water and sweat will "expose your curlies," as I like to say. Basically, your edges and your leave-out will revert back to it's natural state while your extensions stay bone straight.  In order to avoid mismatched textures opt for a full sew-in, this will give you complete coverage and you won't have to avoid the gym or the pool.  Another thought would be to get a courser type of hair installed.  Peruvian hair is a bit more course and in my opinion matches the texture of African American hair a bit better than Brazilian. If you're natural consider a style like crochet braids, box braids or marley twists.  There are also a number of styles you can wear with Kanekalon hair. Extensions should allow you to do more activities with less work. Don't be that girl that doesn't have fun because she just got a new weave!

Do you live or will you be visiting a humid climate?
Climate has always been a huge factor in

black women's hairstyle selection.  We know rain and humidity are like our kryptonite! That sleek on fleek flatiron job you got done on your edges and leave out will poof right on up faster than you can make it to the car for rain cover or seek shelter for air conditioning. If your hair is relaxed you don't have to worry about this because your hair will continue to lay.  My advice, if you have natural hair is to get a full sew-in, opt for curly weave or get a style with bangs for a more natural look. If you want a straight weave, go for a closure so you can wear a faux part providing the illusion that the hair is growing out of your scalp, when in actuality none of your hair is exposed.

Number 1: Unhealthy Hair

When all the weave, extensions, clip-ins, glue, etc. is out, what is the condition of your hair? A good weave should promote hair growth. Your hair can even thicken from a good weave because you're minimizing the daily stress you would typically put on your hair.  A bad weave pulls on your edges and can possibly leave you edge-less due to a poor install. If you have a leave-out and you notice a lot of breakage it's probably because the mismatch in texture was so extreme, that you found yourself straightening your hair daily.  How you and your beautician care for your hair under your weave  is important.

 I love making u-part wigs because I can take them off easily and wash the wig and my hair separately.  I take the wig off every 4 weeks, wash  and deep condition my hair, braid it back up and throw the wig back on. Clip-ins are quick to remove so you can easily continue your daily hair care regimen.  If you wear braids, crochets or twist, be sure to oil your scalp and even rub shampoo over your braids a couple times a month to rinse out dirt, debris and oil build up.  Be sure that you dry your hair properly to avoid mildew caused by wet hair under a sew-in or wig.

Even if you wear weaves consistently and never expose your real hair, it's important to maintain the health of your hair.  Keeping extensions in too long can cause major issues with your real hair.


Honorable mentions from Aaron King (husband): You know you got a bad weave if...

6. White people can tell it's a weave
7. It gets up and runs across the room
8. It looks like a mop sitting on your head
9. If the weave's texture is nappier than your normal hair
10. If it smells like hay or corn chips

All White Everything!

I put this outfit together from the Akira collection

Never have I ever, worn all white.  So, I promised myself that for my 30th I would rock an all white fit. It was comfortable and for me the pop of red in the lip and the shoe topped it off.  When I think of all white I envision Mary J. Blige and Lisa Ray.  Both tend to go for sophisticated yet sexy styles and that was the image I wanted to portray for the evening. My number 1 rule of thumb, KEEP IT CLASSY!

Sexy is not about what you expose and how much of it you expose. Sexy is what you exude and how you carry yourself. It's fun to show skin but you have to portion it out.  The way I see it, if you're going to show cleavage cover the midsection and wear a decent length skirt (knee length or longer).   If you're serving legs then cover the cleavage.  The idea is not to show too much at one time.  A couple peek-a-boos won't hurt anybody but showing the whole shebang can take you from sexy, classy and sophisticated to raunchy and get you called a THOT real quick!

      

Not sure if you caught Beyonce's 2015 Met Gala look...who am I kidding, I'm sure you caught her sheer look because she pretty much broke the internet.  I'm sure she also broke a few necks and some suffered from whiplash or rubbernecker syndrome as she strolled by on the red carpet.  Sheer is definitely in, but I do think there's a line that can be crossed and she crossed it and then came back and crossed it again! My look blends the all white and sheer concept and still leaves something to the imagination.

Here's my other stab at the sheer.  Guess what bargain shopper got this hot mama sheer dress for $30 bucks! Me, me, me!

New Orleans: The New Vegas or Better???

My trip to the NOLA was nothing less than Ooo's, Ahhh's and Yolo's! 

Oh, ye of little faith! Yes, I'm talking about myself.  I was so overwhelmed in the beginning of the year, consumed with planning my husband's 30th, my son's 7th birthday party, my full-time job (which has been nothing but stressful lately, grrrr!), my now 10 month old, and oh yeah, working on my start-up; I really had no time to plan a spectacular 30th birthday for myself.  And to be quite frank, I was starting not to give a damn.  Last year I promised  myself  I'd do it big since I was pregnant and couldn't "turn up" for my 29th (hahaha this sounds really shallow as I type this, but hey, mommies and wives deserve to treat themselves too!).

So my husband surprised me with a birthday dinner the weekend of my birthday but that morning he gave me a birthday card with a trip itinerary to New Orleans.  Now, I'll be honest my first reaction was pretty lack luster, dry, some may even say wack.  To tell you the truth, all I knew about this city was Lil' Wayne, Mardi Gras and Katrina.  Between those three things I had no clue what to expect.  Ha! Well, little did I know I would be walking off the plane and into a party! From there the food, drinking and dancing NEVER STOPPED.

Some say New Orleans is the new Vegas but in my opinion, it's better. You get the authenticity of the city, natives and overall culture. You experience the jazz and funeral bands playing in the street with people dancing close behind, blocking traffic; the accents, live music and southern hospitality, it's all there! Rather than walking that long ass strip in Vegas (y'all know that strip is long!) in New Orleans you pretty much just walk up and down several short blocks.  Simply stroll  in and out of free clubs (yes, no cover) claim your territory and hit the dance floor!  Oh and the the weather was great, it rained on and off but it's mostly light so it won't spoil your time.  Even if you do come across a storm it won't rain on your parade (pun intended).

Okay so enough talkie talkie, the pictures tell it all!  I'll list all the hot spots and traditional dishes so you know what's a must while in NOLA!  If you have any questions leave a note in the comments box.

We stayed at the Hotel Monteleon, located on Royal Street in the French Quarter.  This hotel was beautiful! As soon as we got off the plane we entered their well-known rotating bar, Carousel Bar.  This hotel is in the middle of it all and you don't need to rent a car. Cab from the airport is 20-30 minutes. If you run into Nolan the doorman consider yourself lucky, he's awesome!

Left: Primm's Cup from the Carousel Bar   Right: Hurricane from Oyster Bar (you can get this drink almost anywhere)
Oh and let me not forget to mention that you can drink in the streets just like in Vegas! 

At the Harrah's Casino

Top left: Red beans & rice with fried chicken from Oyster Bar    
Top right: Fried shrimp po'boy - Johnny's is the most popular spot but you can land a po'boy pretty much anywhere
Bottom left: Shrimp & Grits from NOLA (restaurant) (this dish was pricey $29 but spectacular and totally worth it!!!)
 Bottom right: Beignets from Cafe Beignets (fried fritter covered in powdered sugar - a must!)
Honorable mentions:
Oceana
Sucre

Cajun Encounters (Swamp Tour) www.cajunencounters.com
We got pretty well acquainted with several gators and a family of wild boars!

Cafe Beignet is the talk of the town and of course a must-see/taste and tourist attraction.  They also serve other great dishes such as gumbo, jumbalaya, cajun hashbrowns, muffalettas and red beans and rice.

Each day brought a new adventure and great memories and I wouldn't be true to myself or this blog if I didn't give you a glimpse of my outfits lol

Now you will find many gentlemen's club as you walk through the streets at night, but you don't even have to enter them to see the goods lol.  Checkout the lady who decided a skirt and some pasties was just enough to walk down the streets.  New Orleans is like nothing I've ever seen!

Aquarium of the Americas - one of the top aquariums in the U.S.

The Shops at Jax's Brewery - shopping, dining and tourist attractions

BEWARE: BROTHAS ON A MISSION

"BEWARE of  THE BLACK MAN," says the media 

I agree, BEWARE....

 of the rising number of black men earning advanced degrees, 

becoming leaders in their fields and giving back to their communities.

Unfortunately in today's climate, watching the news you'd think the only thing black men are capable of are being sperm donors, thugs and jail birds - which is why I refuse to watch the news and would much rather report my own.  This depiction couldn't be further from the truth.  What I despise is that these news stations tend to focus on very specific sectors of our communities (most often  inner city or areas that foster low income families plagued by poverty) and hone in on criminal incidences so much so - that it appears that's all that blacks are capable of.

I had a reality check when I studied abroad in Costa Rica my junior year of college.  I had a Tico (Costa Rican man) ask me at a bus stop "De Donde Eras?" (Where are you from?) I replied back proudly, "Soy de Estados Unidos" (I'm from the United States).  He looked at me dumbfounded.  He continued to probe and suggested I couldn't possibly be from the United States because black people aren't "from" there.  This man had never visited but believed he knew about the States from the movies he watched at the theaters and television shows he enjoyed in the comfort of his home.  I chuckled a bit, because he was right.  If all he saw were major movies like Bond and television shows like "Friends," I couldn't blame him for thinking black people didn't exist in America, because at that time in 2006 we weren't represented much on the big screen.

Another way to think about this, if I were white and grew up in an all white neighborhood, went to an all white school and all my friends were white, and all I knew about black people was what I saw on tv, what would I think?  Scary thought, right?  What's even more scary is that this is the reality for thousands of Americans!  I believe this is the biggest culprit of racism, pure ignorance, and I mean this in it's truest form.

The definition of ignorance, according to dictionary.com is "lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact."  So where am I going with this?  This post is to give you a very, very small glimpse, into the black community that is very rarely publicized.  Yes, we have one month out of twelve that highlights the same famous black people over and over and over  again! But there are so many others that continue to raise the bar, right now in the present, and I'm going to shout them out as loudly as I can.  This post is dedicated to the black men that have had all odds and bets placed against them starting from birth but have still managed to be extraordinary in their endeavors! 

What makes me most proud to highlight them are that these are men I know.  Men I lived next door to, sat in class with or met by accident lol.  The point being, they are real and they exist and everyone should be aware that there are many more like them!

Joseph T. Bonivel Jr., Ph.D

A friend of mine that I met while studying at the University of South Carolina - Columbia was recently featured in an article for "BE Modern Man: Meet The Researcher Joseph T. Bonivel Jr., Ph.D."  Let's talk about impressive - this man is only 32 years old and he holds a Bachelor and Master of Science degrees in Mechanical Engineering and Biomechanical Engineering from USC and a Doctorate in Mechanical and Materials Engineering Science from the Univ. of South Florida.  He is currently a Senior Research Engineer in the Defense and Space industry.

Joe believes strongly in the importance of giving back through mentoring and is one of  the board of directors for ManyMentors, a nonprofit encouraging minorities and women's interest in pursuing science, math, technology and engineering.  

Archange Antoine, M.A

I randomly bumped into Archange on the USC campus back in 2005 and despite the fact he didn't even attend the University he actually saved me from being hit on by an intoxicated party-goer! As I sit back and reminisce it seems Archange has always had it in him to help, support and encourage others.  He was a great friend and spiritual mentor to me, so it didn't surprise me at all when I found out  he was recently elected as President of the Roselle Board of Education!

Archange earned a Bachelor degree in Law & Justice studies from Rowan University and a Master of Arts in Corporate and Public Communication. He's also a Black Caucus Chairman for the New Jersey Young Democrats and on the Rowan University Alumni Board of Directors.  His passion for people, politics and policy has been evident in his pursuit to represent the Roselle Public School District at the highest level.  His mission is to improve the quality of life for low income and middle class people through the promotion of education and academic excellence.  Archange's main objective is to be an example and help cultivate the next generation of leaders for the state of New Jersey.  Learn more about his initiatives and what he's doing to give back to the community here and be sure to "Like" his page and show support.  

Austin Brown

It's only right that I mention Austin Brown being that the NBA draft is right around the corner! Austin and I attended Evanston Township High School (which produced some of the best and brightest I might add) and we both participated on the school's varsity basketball programs.  Austin went on to play ball at DePauw University and as a senior was a first team all-Southern Collegiate selection. He took his game off the court after graduating and into the agent realm, as an agent with CAA sports.

Austin was recently listed among Forbes magazine's "30 under 30: The Sports World's Brightest Young Stars."  He earned that spotlight by representing 3 top - 40 NBA draft picks. According to DePauw news, "In 2014 Brown was responsible for signing two top - 40 NBA draft picks, Michigan State's Garry Harris and Michigan's Glenn Robinson III.  In 2013, Austin signed No. 9 overall selection Trey Burke, who went on to earn NBA All-Rookie first team and finished third in rookie of the year voting."  Austin is a great example for the young guys aspiring to become professional athletes.  We all know it's extremely competitive to make it that far but there's so much more that former athletes can do beyond actually playing on the court. If they have a good education in their back pocket the opportunities are endless!

James Hunter, MBA, MPA

Speaking of education, it is so crucial for us and even more important to recognize those that strive for academic excellence, because it's not easy and definitely not a cheap endeavor!  We all know we have to work twice as hard to simply get on the same level as some of our sisters and brothers from another mother so we should give credit when credit is due, even when it's not requested.  I've known James since elementary school and he's always been an overachiever.  No, really his academic ambitions are evident in his accomplishments.  James is currently a Commodity Manager for Airport Services Procurement at American Airlines.

James graduated from the Univ. of Illinois - Urbana Champaign with a Bachelor's Degree in Aviation, Human Factors and provided flight instruction at the university in compliance with FAA regulations.  James then went on to graduate from Kennesaw State University with a 4.0 MPA GPA, earning his Master's Degree in Public Administration.  However, that wasn't enough for Mr. Hunter, he also earned an M.B.A in Operations Management and Supervision and was a member of the Golden Key International Honor Society.

It's important we share the accomplishments of our brothers and show those coming up that we are better than what is portrayed on t.v.  Our black men are scattered throughout the United States and are doing amazing things across the nation to add value to our society.  We have to take it upon ourselves to promote and uplift each other because if we don't no one else will.  If you know other's that deserve a shout out please don't hesitate to send me their info and I will surely provide them with the exposure they deserve.

Email me:  kesia.king@gmail.com